Cast
Kraterocracy & Co.
Kraterocracy (leader)
Hive-Mind Individualism
"Sewer" Group
Alt-Center
Anti-Ideology
Conscious Centrism
Individualist Centrism
Liberal Technocracy
Moderate Conservatism
Act A: Mother
Mountain Valley, Unknown Location
So, this is the chasm where the Mother resides?
Indeed.
( are near a mountain, staring down into a massive hole in the ground)
I don't know why, but Mother refuses to install an escalator for easy access to her den...
How are we supposed to descend, then?
Just jump down.
Mother's Den, Unknown Location
( and jump into the chasm, landing in a pool of blue viscuous liquid)
What is this?!
It's what's inside our shells before we come out. Don't worry, you won't catch any weird diseases from this.
Where is the Mother?
Right there.
( points towards the center of the chasm, where 
the Mother resides. The Mother is in the center of a pink, transparent sphere, with a hole cut out and a pipe connected to her back. The pipe pumps liquid from her into many round, blue shells, covering many 
s of varying sizes)
Hm.
Pretty weird, right?
( approach the Mother)
OH, HELLO MY FAVOURITE CHILD.
Hi, Mom.
I SEE YOU'VE BROUGHT YOUR FRIEND AGAIN.
Yeah. He wants to talk with you about something.
HELLO, KRATEROCRACY.
I have no time for greetings. I am here to confront you about a major issue with you and your children.
WHAT IS IT?
You are supposed to be the Hive-Mother, correct?
YES, INDEED.
Your children are not acting like they are supposed to. They all go off to do their own thing, they do not appear to be a collective intelligence, or any sort of intelligence at all.
WELL, FORGIVE ME, KRATEROCRACY, FOR I HAVE NOT DONE THIS IN A THOUSAND YEARS. I AM STILL TRYING TO ACT LIKE I DID IN MY PRIME, BUT I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO FULLY RECOVER BEFORE WE STARTED THIS OPERATION.
If your collectivists keep misbehaving then I might have to take matters into my own hands and stop cooperating with you.
Oh, don't be like that, man! She's been cooking up a special set of my siblings, specialized for this thing you're doing!
YES, BUT I STILL NEED TIME TO PREPARE THEM. I NEED YOU TO STALL FOR A BRIEF PERIOD OF TIME.
How long?
ABOUT ONE WEEK.
One week... How long is that?
7 days.
Then I will stall for 7 days. If your "children" are not ready by that time, then you can say goodbye to your presence on this realm.
Chill, man.
I PROMISE YOU, I WILL PREPARE THEM BY THEN. BUT PLEASE, PROMISE ME YOU WILL KEEP MY CHILD SAFE.
I will. But after the 7 days are up, I can not confirm his safety...
You're going to kill me after the 7 days. Just say it, man.
I will be leaving now. You better have those children prepared when I visit you again.
I WILL.
Bye, Mom.
GOODBYE, MY CHILD.
...
Mountain Valley, Unknown Location
(As finish climbing up the walls of the chasm to leave, suddenly notices something and gets into an attack position)
Stop.
Woah, what's going on?
We are not alone here.
...
(Suddenly, hears movement in a nearby bush, and immediately rushes towards it and slices it in half)
...
( inspects the area around the bush, and sees a small device on the ground, beeping, broken in two)
What the hell is that?
We're being watched.
Act B: Smother
Main Area, Primitivist Camp
(Shortly after making it out of the sewers and seeing the horror that lays before them, 
scramble to find a way out of the situation)
Fuck! Fuck! We're dead!
Let's... not panic...
...
How did they even get to this place?!
Probably just wandered in this area. We need to get out, fast.
These bodies look fresh... Those Primitivists might still be around here.
Lower your voices, then.
(The group begins to sneak around the camp, trying to leave. They pass by a few tents, and peeks through one of them and suddenly stops)
!
What is it, Antideo?
( and look in the tent, to see...)
Marriage Tent, Primitivist Camp
I don't want to do this... Please, just let me leave.
No. You Grug wife now.
(There is a full-blown wedding ceremony inside the tent, with 
as the "priest" and 
in attendance)
Authprim, do you take Social Liberalism as your lawfully wedded wife?
This is the opposite of lawful...
Gagu.
You may now bring the bride to the Lovers' Cave.
Main Area, Primitivist Camp
(As comes out of tent carrying a screaming , the group quickly hides behind the tent)
My God...
We need to save him! Her? Never paid attention.
How? We have nothing!
Uh... What you doing?
(The group is spooked as comes up from behind them)
Ah, shit!
Oooh! You saw what go on in tent! Personally, Unk disapprove of forced marriage.
Uh... What?
Unk know Social Liberalism is one of Centrists. Unk heard conversation. Unk will help!
I'm so confused.
Well, there's the help we need.
(As the group begins to approach the Lovers' Cave, they spot 
also walking in the same direction, and quickly hide behind )
Ooh! Hello Unk!
Hello Gan!
Why Unk walk in this direction?
Why not Gan tell Unk where is going first?
Gan will be getting tools to perform abortion in case of Grug not wanting child. Now why Unk walking to Lovers' Cave?
Unk wishes to see mating ritual, as Unk never done that before.
Fair.
(As walks away, the centrists get out of their hiding spots)
This journey's just getting more and more absurd...
They have a fucking abortion doctor?!
I am at a loss for words.
We're all astonished. Let's just keep moving. Unk, lead the way.
Gagu!
Lovers' Cave, Primitivist Camp
(As the party arrives to the Lovers' Cave, they begin to hear... ungodly noises)
UNGH! UNGH!
What the fuck...
Mating Area just around corner.
(The group hides behind a rock, inspecting the scene. is performing a ritualistic dance around )
What's going on?
Grug performing complex ancient mating ritual, takes hour. After Grug finishes, Grug will begin the process.
Please, just spare us the details. How do we get hi- he- THEM out of here?
Knock out Grug, of course!
( picks up a large rock and throws it directly at 's head, knocking him out cold)
What?!
Hey, Soclib!
Oh, my God! Thank you!
( and help up)
Huh? Why is one of them with you?
Oh, don't worry, his name is Unk and he's the one that threw the rock.
Ah! Thank you!
Is no problem for Unk. But, question: Why are you, Centrists, here?
Well...
(The group explain their journey up until this point)
Oh, no! Very sad.
Yeah... We've not been having a good time.
Soclib, what happened? We saw Modnat and Reformism back there, and they were kind of...
Yes, I know. After we got out of the Congress we got on Modnat's motorcycle, but we crashed against a tree and when I woke up I found them being tied up against wooden poles and me being on a leash pulled by "Grug"... They destroyed our guns and used them as beating sticks.
Well, at least you're safe now. Let's get out of here before Mr. Grug here wakes up.
Main Area, Primitivist Camp
(As the party exits the Lovers' Cave, they come across heading their way)
Unk! Who be these people?!
Uh, uh-
( picks up another rock and throws it at , dazing him)
Umph!
Run.
( escape from the scene and into the wilderness, hiding in the nearby tall grass)
Phew!
Unk... will never be able to return to tribe again after rock-head-throw-smash on Grug and Gan. Sad...
Hey, you can come along with us! We could use someone strong like you, we're not very physically capable.
Oooh! Weak Centrists need big Unk to protect them! Accept!
Well, ignoring the insult, welcome to the team, Unk.
Where are we going to go now?
I know where we can go. The transporter to the Technate is not far from here.
Oh, really? Why would they put it so close to here?
It's a cover. Nobody expects the transporter to be near this uncivilized area.
Well, off to the Technate we go, I guess. You lead the way.
<comments />