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    Hedonistic Capitalism is an ideology that unites Authoritarian Capitalism and Libertarianism with the purpose of indulging and encouraging everyone's vices and damaging habits to the extreme, feeding the pleasures and addictions of the population to keep them compliant. By legalizing and normalizing basically all goods and services, including drugs, prostitution, gambling, etc. Hedonistic Capitalism's end goal is a one-party state, where an all-powerful government is never challenged, and their methods of governing go unquestioned because the public is so placated by their freedom to live to excess to worry, ethics have been replaced entirely with what makes them happy in that moment, and they wouldn't jeopardize their access to these pleasures by biting the hand that feeds, instead complying with all of the governments demands to ensure their ongoing short-term satisfaction.

    Additionally, Hedonistic Capitalism seeks to deal with the growing number of people living long past their working age, and becoming a drain on the state, by perpetuating living to excess within the population, so that more and more people will naturally die after their physical prime has passed, but before they enter retirement age.


    HedCap acts like a hedonistic manchild who dislikes being told what to do. He has no regard for his privacy, has no ethics or morals, and is only concerned with what will give him a dopamine hit in any given moment.



    • Post-Libertarianism- Great, based and drugpilled.
    • Hedonism - Live fast, die young! Even better when you've got a state on your side. I'm doing wonders for the economy by spending all my money on prostitutes and heavily-taxed cocaine and booze, and dying at 49.
    • Libertarianism - Did it ever occur to you that a big government might not just let you do whatever you want, but actually coerce you to do whatever you want?
    • E-Girl Feminism - An indispensable cultural influencer.
    • Crypto-Totalitarian Entertainment - Hell yeah, bring on the entertainment!
    • Neoliberalism - Follows my teachings quite well.
    • Corporatocracy - Follows my teachings very well.
    • Fordism - Follows my teachings EXTREMELY well.
    • Batistaism - Took my ideas to the real world, very based!


    • Reaganism - Trickle down economics, a new era of monetary pleasure and entertainment, funneling crack into black-majority neighborhoods to keep the people both high and occupied with the anger of culture war, low business regulation, all while maintaining a strong unimpeachable state with a face of civil libertarianism... wow, just wow. You would be perfect if you weren't also openly conservative with all those "family values" you preach.
    • Libertarian Socialism - Also believes letting people do what they want, but doesn't believe in business, and protests against the state all the time. Certainly annoying, but at least he buys my weed.
    • Anarcho-Entertainment - You have some good ideas, but what's wrong with a big state?
    • Anarcho-Nihilism - He hates me, but he sure won't stop giving me money for heroin to distract him from his emptiness inside, so I'm not complaining.
    • Anarcho-Communism - Druggie and hedonist to the bone, but somewhat in denial. When he's more depressed, he'll join in with me, just you wait.
    • Acid Communism - That's more like it!
    • Hedonistic Communism - Even better!
    • Hedonistic Social Democracy - Hedonism is nice, but what's with all this welfare nonsense? Let me keep my money to spend on myself!
    • Paleolibertarianism - Nice support for free market capitalism, but why do you call me a fake libertarian and a liberal scam?


    • Paternalistic Conservatism - OMG, drugs are not even that dangerous. Besides, they've got way safer now that there's a competitive market to keep the standards high. Not that I care anyway... I don't even want to grow old.
    • Conservative Socialism - My mortal enemy! Stop rebelling against me!
    • Marxist-Leninism - When my state un-exists your leaders, nobody's gonna be sober enough to know or care that they're gone.
    • Christian Democracy - I can't hear you over the sound of cha-ching.
    • Prohibitionism - Grumpy and dogmatic old man.
    • Third Aquarian Model - Girl, you're soooo last century.


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