Champagne Socialism (ChamSoc) is a leftist ideology, based around the belief that the hallmarks of middle-class affluence, and happily living in a Capitalist society are no barrier to representing Marxist spirit.
Champagne Socialism seeks to change the interpretation of staple Marxist terms. Where Marx said "to each according to need", ChamSoc believes each person should be able to determine their own needs, and traditionally un-socialist ideas, such as owning their own home could be a basic need for some.
ChamSoc also believes that the social classes to have shifted since Marx's era, with the middle-classes now as oppressed as the working classes and the empoverished. Champagne Socialism instead focuses on heavy taxation of billionaires (often appropriating the term 'bourgeoisie' to describe CEOs of global corporations), raising funds through initiatives such as abolishing the monarchy, or defunding the police, all with the end goal of providing middle-class luxuries for everyone.
ChamSoc doesn't oppose wage labour, like most Marx-inspired ideologies, though does believe working conditions in western society to be unacceptable. To remedy this, ChamSoc seeks to utilise advancements in technology to make working life extremely easy, creating more opportunities to work from home, and for much shorter hours per week.
Champagne Socialism places tremendous emphasis on cultivating more intellectuals, and the importance of as many people studying to degree level as at all possible. Whilst this inevitably leads to a surplus of graduates who can't find jobs that utilise their knowledge, ChamSoc believes the more abstract personal benefits of attending university in itself to entirely outweight this.
- Third Way - Lots of diversity, spending a pile of money that we don't have, corporation tax sky high, and every last person studying for a degree that won't help them get a job. Bravo!
- SJW - If I support you cancelling everyone else, then you surely can't cancel me.
- Green Liberalism - Protest climate change in the morning, and then onto Starbucks for lunch time.
- File:Emo-Comm.png Emo Marxism - Middle-class millennials are maybe the most marginalized people of all.
- Transhumanism - I want my iPad wired into my brain so I can work from home.
- Technocracy - Lovely experts. They've all been to university, so I know I can trust them.
- Democratism - Finally a party that cares about the common man just like me!
- Antifa - I support the riots. Property can be replaced, and they're all insured anyway. Wait... Oh, shit! Is that my neighbourhood on TV?
- Social Democracy - Opportunities to climb the social ladder aren't enough. We should all be middle class by deault. Everyone in the world should know the joys of Centre Parcs.
- Scouse Syndicalism - It sounds good... but you haven't been to university. You need a media studies degree before I can take you seriously.
- Marxism - I haven't read any of your work. But you coined a lot of the phrases I like to quote for no reason.
- Ceremonial Monarchism - If we abolished the monarchy, everyone would be middle class. I've run the numbers.
- Police Statism - If we defunded the police, everyone would be middle class. I've run the numbers.
- Trumpism - This is what facism looks like.
- American Republicanism - "It’s time that every state they would elect Republicans to represent them, and all of the rest of us separate. You don’t wanna live in my world and I certainly don’t want to live in yours."
- Most Authleft ideologies - Finally, you saved us! Wait...what is that giant tax bill doing in my mailbox? Why are you looking at me in an angry way?! After all, is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?!