Blartism

Self Insert

"People can really believe anything these days!" - Ismism
This page is meant to represent Blartyboy's political views. Please do not make any major edits without their permission.

Blartism
Yum Yum oats
Basic Information
Aliases	Cameronism
Alignment(s)	LibLeft
Greatest achievement	Finding a pizza in the DVD player
Ideological Influences
Influenced by	Anarchism Antifa Anarcho-Communism Anarcho-Individualism Republicanism Orwellism
Influenced	Neo-Blartism
Preceded	Proto-Blartism
Succeeded	Neo-Blartism
Character Information
Likes	Oats Worker self management equality and stuff
Dislikes	Capitalism the press
Song	the scum and let it be

Summary

Blartism is a bri'ish socialist, anarchist and progressive ideology that likes oats a lot. He hates capitalism, all UK conservative politicians (and most labour ones, for that matter) and monarchy. He likes oats and believes them to be the best Grain, and nothing but good can come of them. he also likes jelly babies.

Chumba

he also wants you to listen to chumbawamba DO IT NOW

Albums

history luddite

pictures of starving children sell records

never mind the ballots, here's the rest of your life!

English rebel songs 1384- 1984

a singsong and a scrap

The boy bands have won, and all the copyists and the tribute bands... etc

songs

The scum and let it be

Give the anarchist a cigarette

Mouthful of shit

Timebomb

Amnesia

Her majesty

The land of do what you're told.

Add me

El fusilado

Bury me deep

Beliefs

Anarchism

Blartism opposes all hierarchy and advocates horizontal structures, which includes...

Socialism

Blartism believes in socialism before anything else, though it also considers it to be an inseparable and essential part of anarchism. He defines socialism as workers self management, that is to say, Workers control over production. It dislikes capitalism under the criticism that it focuses wealth and power into a small minority at the expense of everyone else, and that the capitalists don't actually contribute anything to the central goal of whatever company they're heading.

Statelessness

as defined as the organisation with the monopoly over the legitimate use of violence over a given area, ruled by a class of professional rulers, is wrong, as it also focuses power into the hands a small number, exerting violence over the majority.

Progressivism

Blartism considers things like racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia to themselves be hierarchy, He believes in causes such as women's liberation, anti-racism and LGBT+ rights.

Anti-Fascism

Blartism opposes fascism, defining it as an ideology which is ultranationalistic (and so usually racist), authoritarian, and anti-communist (and socialist). While he recognises Fascists can believe shit, their ideas are fundamentally dangerous, and they should be stopped at all costs.

Þorn revivalism

Blartism Supports þat after þe revolution, þe þorn should make a glorious return to þe english language, just to make þings easier.

What systems would you implement?

Blartism isn't entirely sure whether to use Communism or Mutualism, with a preference to communism, he supports Trying both, expecting both to be equally successful.

communism and syndicalism

Blartism mainly advocates for a system of communism, where there is no money, And everything is distributed according to what one feels they need. It mainly organises society with the goal of maximising production for the least possible hours, believing this to be the greatest interest of the working class once they seize production. It does so by having everything be organised by horizontally organised trade unions (In contrast to the hierarchical current mainstream unions), Having low hours and high production gives people free reign to indulge in the fields of science, philosophy, music, fiction writing, history, and the visual arts.

Mutualism

Blartism also advocates mutualism as an alternative to both communism and capitalism, especially if communism cannot be achieved for whatever reason.

Free love

Marriage is a patriarchal social construct. It must be eliminated. people shouldn't be forced to be with someone because of agreements they made years ago. Instead, people should just love. Fuck whenever they want (as long as its consensual), basically.

Stances on other things

freedom

Blartism believes in the "Materialist" conception of freedom expounded by thinkers such as Karl Marx and Mikhail Bakunin. That is, to be free, is to have access to the possibility of engaging in self-directed activity, so one can develop human activity to the fullest extent. If humans are not free, They act as humans only nominally. It condemns capitalism, for example, for restricting the ability for self-determination of both individuals and collectives. It also thinks that the state restricts this freedom. Freedom is one of the many reasons he advocates Anarchism.

individualism and collectivism

Blartism takes influence from both individualist and social anarchism. It believes that individualism and collectivism make very little sense on their own. This is because society, in order to function, must involve individuals being part of a society, so looking at it through just individuals is pointless. Though if you look at society just through groups of people, you can often overlook individuals to the sacrifice of freedom.

Democracy

Blartism defines "democracy" as "a system whereby which the people make the decisions" (citing the original greek definition of democracy, but changing it slightly to make it less nebulous) condemns liberal democracy and majoritarianism and supports direct democracy, That is, decisions are made directly, by the people. Since minorities are part of the people, Blartism rejects the common anarchist presumption that democracy is the rule of the majority. He believes hierarchy is a fundamentally undemocratic thing, because only a small number of people, or individuals are making the decisions, rather than all who are affected by the decision.

Personality

blartism is known to ramble out paragraph after paragraph telling the same unfunny jokes over and over, then having to explain them afterwards because they make no sense. He'll also commit to a joke in a way that annoys everyone.

How to draw

1. Draw a red carpet
2. Draw a green ball above it
3. Draw a whole lot of oats, focusing around where the balls mouth would be (optional)
4. draw a bowl where his mouth would be (optional)
5. Give the ball eyes
6. draw a flat cap hat.

Relationships

Best Friends

• Rechtewig - Free him. Bring him back.
• Aeirinism - Mummy is nice and based.

Friends

• Anarcho-Communism- The most internally consistent form of anarchism, I guess.
• Mutualism - Another anarchist ideology, I fluctuate between him and ancom (Just ignore Proudhons views on women and the jews)
• Anarcho-Pacifism - If we can achieve anarchism without violence, I'm this.
• Anarcho-Syndicalism - Join a union now. Yes, you.
• Orwellism - 1984 is very good. Also conservatives should stop hollowly invoking you. "Ohh Its like 1984, GOTCHA haha"
• Whoism - My favourite TV programme
• Marxism - as long as you don't have a state as I define it, but one as you define it, I like you a lot.
• Feminism - Bit broad, but still usually based!
• Anarcha-Feminism - More specific and more based.
• Christian Socialism - Not a christian, but at least you guys get what Jesus was saying.
• Neo-Airisuism - Based. Have a jelly baby.
• Oofitism - You can also have one.
• Anarcho-Individualism - A big influence of mine. Some people (not naming any names here, but them) Don't get what you were saying, though.
• Antifa - I'll never rest until every nazi is gone from the face of the earth. then I can Sleep. I was having a good dream.
• Corbynism - You would've been an amazing-for-PMs PM Have a jelly baby.
• Fantasyism - BASED
• Neo-YugoslavPartisanism - you're based, but not as based as you once were
• Republicanism - I've had many positive relations with him in the past. Abolish the monarchy!
• Progressivism - People shouldn't be discriminated against. Yeah, Spicy opinions here only.
• Revolutionary Progressivism - We like to beat up conservatives
• Libertarian Socialism - The only form of socialism. there are no others.
• Chomskyism- Exposed the propaganda model
• Rutabagism- I'll like you if reform can actually work
• Aeirinism - She's ridiculously nice, and based.
• Mens lib - You're cool when you're pro feminism and your movements aren't being co-opted by him
• Luxemburgism - The best marxist. RIP Rosa

Frenemies

• Gravelism - he has some good ideas, but I'm not sure that making our own clone of pragerU is the right way to destroy pragerU
• Scottish Nationalism - You make some good points, but independence won't stop the oppression of capitalism, and considering how brexit is going I'm not sure how negotiations would go...
• Potashism - I'd be okay with you if you stopped calling everything "Retarded"
• Conseilism - Based but embrace Teh progress
• Liberal Socialism - An oxymoron, but I do like the mix of classical economics and socialism
• Conservative Socialist Nationalism - You're a nice guy, but I dislike your social views (Though I will admit I have an affection for when people mix socialism with things generally associated with the right) and the authoritarianism is cringe.
• SJW - 1. You're just a straw man that doesn't really exist 2. I'd rather be a social justice bard, y'know, I'm not a violent type.
• Social Democracy - The only capitalist I tolerate.
• Democratic Socialism - like social democracy but better. Unfortunately it's highly unlikely to reach socialism, though not totally impossible. It's more realistic than some give it credit for.
• Tolkienism - Good author, bad politics.

Enemies

• Conservatism - all tories are cunts.
• Pan-Leftism - "lets ally with stalinists! THAT ALWAYS GOES WELL!"
• Socialist Peacedomism - F**k you.
• communalism- You're literally the conservative straw man of socialism. "LETS SHARE EVERYTHING!" your ideology doesn't even make sense!
• Leninism - Stop it with this "vanguard party" nonsense. the state as you advocate it is inherently counter-revolutionary.
• Churchillism - helped fight fascism but still was a racist. I think we're fighting fascism for different reasons...
• Thatcherism - Ah, why did radio 1 deny us the first catchy no.2 hit in years? anyway, DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!
• Reaganism - Thatcherism again, except done by a movie cowboy, so stupider.
• Proto-Blartism - I was so cringe when I were a young laddie.
• Shapioism - REKING LEFTISTS WITH HALF-TRUTHS AND BAD VIDEO TITLES!! (epic must watch)
• Pr(opaganda)ager "university" - the s in prageru stands for smart.
• like Daleks, but not fictional- their honest name says it all, doesn't it?
• Neo-Feudalism - See above
• Starmerism - Keith, would you like chips or salad with your burger? Keith: "BOTH SIDES"
• Borisism - More like BADis... Geddit? I'M A COMEDIC GENIUS
• Stalinism - You make me sick.
• Crapitalism - Bad. I don't want society to be ruled by a small minority.
• Neoliberalism - Deregulation has only lead to financial crashes, and cutting of taxes on the rich has only lead to income inequality.
• Monarchism - GUILLOTINE FOR YOU!
• Neoliberaltarianism - dude, you can't just show charts that can easily be disproved or shown to be misleading and act like it proves your idiotic beliefs.
• Mediacracy (and the press in general) - Capitalist propaganda machine

a note on Online tests

They are minimalist and not good for finding out what one believes.

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