Polcompball: Sexus/Chapter 1: Da Boiz kill an Autistic Child

< Polcompball: Sexus

=Cast=

Da Boiz

 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] Inexistent
 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] Bacon
 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] Kultokrat
 * [[File:XT.png]] Xar Tario
 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] 2x2Master
 * [[File:Meddarko.png]] Darko

Antagonist

 * [[File:auserbonerforce.png]]
 * [[File:PolState.png]]
 * [[File:Strato.png]]
 * [[File:NeoconHelm.png]]

Others
=Act 1: A beautiful day= I'm Another beautiful day in PCBland. The sun is shining, flowers are blooming, on days like these, ideology shoppers like you.... SHOULD. BE. TOUCHING. SOME. GRASS.
 * [[File:Pixil-frame-0(38).png]] Cheese
 * [[File:NeoLukko.png]] Lukko


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Oh boy what a beautiful day. The sun shining on my ebony skin. The heat making my.... Okay I really need to stop doing this.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Agreed. I Finally happy that you realize it.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]I mean yeah it would be a net positive.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Ye mate like it's pretty gross with your hornine-[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - *walks over to TV and pulls out tape*


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Whatcha doing with that tape ma-... NO NO NONONONONONONONO NO!! I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T!!![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - *slowly puts the tape back*


 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]btw what was on the tape?[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]N-nothing just a scary movie.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Stop being a sissy. Imagine being scared of a movie.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Actually it's what REALLY happened on Nine El-[[File:RBubble.png]]

With an Awesome Aussie Attack the Embarrassed Eshay like an Emu kicked Bacon in the balls.


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Sunvamadafakenbetch...[[File:RBubble.png]] *she hurls over in pain*

Bacon casually is dying on the floor as 2x2Master tries to explain how he did nothing on the date September 11 2001.

Act 2: Le retard
A mysterious man walks into the scene all sussy like. The retarded aura he exudes is immense. His jaw like that of a Habsburg, his skin a pasty white, and with a stroll a smug look on his face that you want to slap the shit out of.


 * [[File:auserbonerforce.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]AMERICA GOOD U R STINKY AND DUMB!!! BOLSHEVIK DUMB DUH UH-HUH!![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]First my balls now my ears....[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:auserbonerforce.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]DAH YOU ARE STUPID COMMIE!![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Oh hey guys, I got the lasagna. It was rather windy, A knight almost killed me there, you should have seen it! I had to escape dragons and Canadian people. I even kissed a troll's ass![[File:RBubble.png]]

Bonerforce and Xar Tario stare each other as everyone looks at Xar confusedly.


 * [[File:auserbonerforce.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Ohhhhh!!! You're that guy![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Do you even wipe!?![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:auserbonerforce.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]What's a wipe?[[File:RBubble.png]]

Everyone looks in disgusting as a trail of shit is left behind the autistic child.


 * [[File:auserbonerforce.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]I was too busy paying for my hospital bill to buy TP.[[File:RBubble.png]]

Everyone looks on in horror to see the dark brown trail the nincompoop has brought in.


 * Everyone in unison - [[File:LBubble.png]]WHAT THE FUCK!?![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - *stares at himself in mirror traumatized* [[File:LBubble.png]].... Bacon... get me the trash bin.[[File:RBubble.png]] *He says nearly crying*


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Okay...[[File:RBubble.png]] *grabs trash bin for Xar Tario*


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]I'm sorry ab-[[File:RBubble.png]] *pukes* [[File:LBubble.png]]Oh god... HEHEJJDNDNDJDJ[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Shh shh it's oka-[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]BDHDJEKLSLARURHG[[File:RBubble.png]]

(insert large puking scene here)


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - *she wipes off the puke* [[File:LBubble.png]]I haven't been covered in this much goop since.... Last night.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:auserbonerforce.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Haha anarchist coomer ahah[[File:RBubble.png]] *has a fucking stroke* [[File:LBubble.png]]aauggh herrrp I'm dyrrrrrn aaaaasa[[File:RBubble.png]]

Ambulance comes and drags him to the hospital.


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Hey!!! I was hardly in the first act!!!![[File:RBubble.png]]

(Sorry bro I forgor you existed)


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]D: wha?[[File:RBubble.png]]

(Idk I just kinda forgot you were alive)


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]just wow.... that's just wow.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Sorry real me forgot about you... [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]No shut the fuck up! fuck you! Asshole! I only has one line![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Yeah that's kinda rude..


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]THE REAL ME FORGOT, BACK TO THE FUCKING STORY[[File:RBubble.png]]

(thank you bacon. Ahem)


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Wanna know what would be funny?[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Oh boy! I love humour! What's the joke? I bet it'd be super funny and uhhh funny.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]We turn off his life support.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]WHAT!?! THAT'S SO EVIL BRO THAT'S LIKE!?!... Okay know what fuck him.[[File:RBubble.png]]

They all go to le epic base garage with le epic car.


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Boys lets grab out vehicl-[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]*Ahem*[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Listen we don't have time to waste we're trying to commit murder.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Grumble Grumble me angy. Me rape yo-[[File:RBubble.png]]

Bacon gets bonked on the head with large frying pan and she falls unconscious. Darko appears out of nowhere.


 * [[File:Meddarko.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Lemme just take that.[[File:RBubble.png]] *grabs bacon by the legs and drags her into into le epic room and has sex with her*


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]I'm not even gonna question that let's just go.[[File:RBubble.png]]

They all jump into your mom and drive off to the hospital to pull the plug on Bonerforce.

Act 3: Things happen
Kultokrat casually runs over people with your mom, crushing people in your mom's wake. Her folds crush cars and bend concrete. Everything was going swimmingly until the cops showed up.


 * [[File:PolState.png]] Chief: - [[File:LBubble.png]]We have you surrounded, put your hands where we can see them.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Oi! I got ya 'ands right 'ere ya bloke! *Hold out the middle finger*[[File:RBubble.png]]

The officer with anger looks at 2x2 and waves his pistol into the air and then shoots his middle finger off.


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]OI ME BLOODY FINGAH!!! HE SHOT ME FOKING FINGAH CLEAN OFF AHHH!! [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:PolState.png]] Officer 1: - [[File:LBubble.png]]OH GOD!!! WE CAN'T JUST DO THAT!!!![[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:PolState.png]] C: [[File:LBubble.png]] Oh please this won't even make it to the news. The guy was white! [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:PolState.png]] O 1:- [[File:LBubble.png]] Tru Tru [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - *looks out your mother's flap (window)* [[File:LBubble.png]]Isn't that police brutality? Y'know there's regulations for that kind of stuff. We'll seen you in court! Y'know that your bodycams capture that? [[File:RBubble.png]] (Insert more wall of text)

Cop fires a shot yet misses Xar Tario by an inch.


 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]I have a better solution Xar.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] What's the plan? I bet it's super well though-[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] - *Pulls out sword* [[File:LBubble.png]] BANZAI BITCHES!!! [[File:RBubble.png]] *he jumps out of your mom and slices a cop in half*


 * [[File:PolState.png]] O 1: - [[File:LBubble.png]] Huh wha?- [[File:RBubble.png]] *dies*


 * [[File:XT.png]] - ... [[File:LBubble.png]] That works too I suppose. [[File:RBubble.png]] *Jumps out of your mom* WAHOO!!! *summons fireballs* [[File:LBubble.png]] You've asked for it!! [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:PolState.png]] C: - [[File:LBubble.png]] WHAT ARE YOU GUYS WAITING FOR BOYS!!! SHOOT THEM!!! [[File:RBubble.png]]

The Cops fire shots at Da Boiz as Inexistent reflects the bullets with his sword. Fireballs rain down from above, killing multiple cops, while 2x2 looks at his his missing finger


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]]Not me fingah!! *Sniff* It was me favourite one.[[File:RBubble.png]] *Gets angry*


 * [[File:2x2Master.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] THAT WAS ME FAVOURITE FINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!![[File:RBubble.png]]

2x2Master goes through a Sailor Moon escue transformation sequence where he regrows his finger. Kultokrat watches the long transformation sequence while drinking vodka


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] I should probably check on them. [[File:RBubble.png]]

Kultokrat walks over to the flap (window) and peaks out whilst holding his two bottles of vodka.


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Good job down there! [[File:RBubble.png]] *drinks vodka.*


 * [[File:PolState.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Drinking and driving.... Yeahh that's another charge. [[File:RBubble.png]] *Shoots Kultokrat's Vodka*


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] ... Okay now you die [[File:RBubble.png]] *he does an epic backflip out of the window*

Kultokrat lands into a superman pose, as cops fire at him. He effortlessly dodges the bullets with drunken ease.

Cut to Bacon:

Darko snuggles next to bacon as she wakes up from le knocked out.


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] What happened??? [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Meddarko.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] I had sex with your unconscious bubble [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] That is a total disrespect to my body. I love it! Uuuunnfortunately I have to go on an adventure to go unplug Bonerforce's life support. :p [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Meddarko.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Ooo can I come too?? [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Sure thing lov' :3. Something else that's unfortunate they took our only mode of transportation. [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Meddarko.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Good thing I have my Macedonorcycle™ [[File:RBubble.png]]

Bacon and Darko drive off to help out Da Boiz

Act 4: Le Epic Fight
Cut back to Da Boiz: Most of the cops are dead, either being sliced, bashed or burnt. Kultokrat has the chief held by the neck. 2x2Master is still transforming.


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Well I can't think of anything badass to say but I suppose this is the end for you [[File:RBubble.png]] *he raises the broken glass bottle above the Chiefs throat*

🕊️ life ☠️ death
 * [[File:PolState.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Life or Death [[File:Beryism.gif]] Beryboy?


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - Life!!! *loosens grip*


 * [[File:PolState.png]] [[File:LBubble.png]] GOTCHA BITCH [[File:RBubble.png]] *whacks kultokrat with le Baton then calls on walkie talkie* [[File:LBubble.png]] We need Backup. [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Kurwa... HELP MEH HEEEEELP MEH [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Sorry I ran out of fireballs [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Sorry I'm playing Fortnite. [[File:RBubble.png]]

Military mfs pop up out of nowhere.


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Double Kurwa [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Strato.png]] Sargeant: - [[File:LBubble.png]] TEN HUT!!! WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA ARF ARF[[File:RBubble.png]]

Soldiers start flooding the bridge they're on, with guns pointed at da boiz.


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Triple Kurwa... [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:XT.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Okay guys. I think we're gonna die.[[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:DoesntExist.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] No shit. [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Strato.png]] S: - [[File:LBubble.png]] ARF ARF (FIRE!!!) [[File:RBubble.png]]

As the first shots are fired Bacon and Darko roll up and 2x2Master finishes transforming.


 * [[File:Bimbo.png]], [[File:Meddarko.png]] and [[File:Baconicon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] CHOKE THE PUSSY!!! [[File:RBubble.png]] (Not so Fast! But in Chinese)

The bullets freeze mid air as darko drives by and Bacon Shoots the Soldiers


 * [[File:NeoconHelm.png]] Soldiers: - [[File:LBubble.png]] NAAAAAAW *dies bc gun* [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Bimbo.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] IT IS I BIMBO THE AUSSIE WIZARD!!! [[File:RBubble.png]] *telekinetically flings the bullets back the soldier* [[File:LBubble.png]] SHAZAM!!! [[File:RBubble.png]]

Bacon throws Molotov Cocktails and Darko Runs over people. Molotov Cocktail flies into military helicopter making the helicopter blow up.


 * [[File:Strato.png]] S:- *sad dead doggo noises*


 * [[File:Bacon.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Poggerz uwu [[File:RBubble.png]]

2x2 flies over to the Chief.


 * [[File:PolState.png]] C:- [[File:LBubble.png]] STAY AWAY FROM ME WITCH!!! I'LL SHOOT [[File:RBubble.png]]

The Chief shoots 2x2Master


 * [[File:Bimbo.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] This is for shooting my fingag offm [[File:RBubble.png]]

2x2Master multiplies the blood in the Chief's Veins so he fucking blows up into a pool of blood.


 * Everyone else: :stare:

Act 5: They finally kill the autistic child
They all head out to the hospital.


 * [[File:Pixil-frame-0(38).png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Okay we're almost done with your surgery. [[File:RBubble.png]]

They pop in the room and pull Bonerforce's life Support.


 * [[File:NeoLukko.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] Did you just kill a guy because you don't like him? [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:Nadzieja.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] So? [[File:RBubble.png]]


 * [[File:NeoLukko.png]] - [[File:LBubble.png]] So let's dance![[File:RBubble.png]]

(Insert dance and song number)

=Comments=
 * [[File:Femboy.png]] Kalivyah - Very nice! Reminds me of the time when I killed 8 Shia Iraqi children in al'Basrah on August 7th, 2006!