Template:Penis Values

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So, you may already know about the Penis Compass. A fun idea, but are just two axes sufficient enough to describe a penis? Obviously not.

There once was a polcoomball wiki where I have made a lot of different axes for dicks, and, for the sake of the joke, linked them to political ideologies. Say, Authoritarians have fat dicks, Libertarians have thin dicks, Leftists have short dicks, Rightists have long dicks, and so on. But now that all old wikis got deleted, I've got no way to restore that beauty, so I may as well start it all anew. It is going to be different, of course. Not much fun in writing the same shit twice.

Let us first talk about the axes themselves.

Length
According to a quick google search, the shortest measured erect penis in history is 4 cm long. I guess the smallest possible penis would be no shaft, just the head.

For how long a penis can get, well, that is obvious, infinetely long. I am a big fan of huge cock futa hentai, and hentai is the best when it comes to unrealism.

Girth
So, you may have heard of the concept of "sounding". A fetish of inserting a rod up your urethra. I find it interesting to experiment with in terms of penises. By making one of the penises extremely thin (as in, several millimeters in diameter), we could use that penis to sound another, girthier dick! That sounding cock would, of course, be a combination of "big length" + "small girth". If we combine "small length" with "small girth" instead, we'll get a very tiny dick to humiliate!

For big girth, well... I guess we still can have unrealistically fat hentai cocks, but if they're attached to someone, we'd need a body that is at least the same width as the dick. If the dick is considerably long, it can increase in width from the base to the tip. Chodes ("small length" + "big girth") don't have the same luxury.

But how would you go with making an extreme variation of chode? - I hear you ask. Well, remember what i said about body being the same width as the dick? Scrap that. Hyper chode would evolve into a disk-like shape. It would be attached to the body at the center of the disk, but the entirety of disk itself would be wide, yet flat. So, really no length, only width. There we go, we got out first specevo genitalia!

Curvature
There's not much interesting I can say about uncurved dicks.

Curved penises, however, have so much potential! They can curve upward, downward, leftward, rightward, they could spiral around the body, they could form basically any shape, tie themselves into knots, make a balloon animal, ahhh, just thinking about them makes me almost fail NNN! (I'm so fucking horny, and it's currently only the second day of NNN) Like, imagine a dick so curved it goes straight up the dick owners ass! Or slither around the body right into the mouth!

Of course, the more obvious idea would be a dick that can be controlled where it goes, like it's a snake/tentacle. Another idea of the same sphere would be a dick that has a mind of its own and listens to no others from its user! Just imagine how much uncomfortable situations may arise from having a cock like that! Especially if it's constantly horny and barely can be bargained with! The third idea of a controllable cock would be that it doesn't have a mind of its own, but is controlled by someone other than its user. Say, the boyfriend of the cock user. Or, just as interestingly, a "hatefuck" enemy of theirs. Or some weirdo perv stalker.

Tip size
This one is simple, too. Some animals don't even have a penis head, so the extreme version of "small tip" is obvious: no tip.

for the big side of things, i actually wonder if this axe can be separated into "tip length" and "tip girth" like we did with the shaft. Or we could just make the tip into any form possible. A conus? Basic, but works. Cube? Sure! Cyllinder? Fuck yeah!

Urethra width
Another obvious one. With wide enough urethra, that cock is basically a pussy! No, like actually, imagine the whole womb being contained inside of a cock and instead of just urethra it would be a fully functional vagina! The bladder itself may as well also be inside of the cock.

Speaking of replacing urethral opening with female genitalia, let's not forget about the clit! The clit itself is basically a penis, and we can replace the clit with an actuall penis, balls and all! Which is more or less how futas function, i guess.

Point is, it's recursive. We replace urethra of the penis with female genitalia, and then replace the clit of that with a penis, and then we could again replace the urethra of the clit-penis with another vagina, and so on!

I remember having an entire separate axis set for the cunt in the original version of penis values, and I hope we'll get there here eventually.

Ball size
Once again, the most extreme option on one side is just no balls, or balls so extremely small they're practically invisible. Then we have pea-sized balls (cute!), then the "normal" sizes, then apples, then watermelons, then planets, and so on.

Like the tip, the balls can be of any shapes. Spheres, cubes, cyllinders, rings, and, of course, teapots.

Ball hanging
Basically how far the balls are away from the base of the penis. For the cute option, the balls are practically attached to the body, with no distance in between. On the other side, we can have infinetely long sacks, with the guy being on one side of the earth, and the balls on the other.

Ball softness
On one end of the axis, we have balls hard as rocks. Like, if you hit someone with them, you absolutely will cause some damage.

On the other side, we have balls so soft, you can use them as a stress toy. And, if big enough, soft balls would make for great bean bag chairs!

Multi
Not exactly an axis, but fuck it.

Multiple dicks is a very well-known kink, so we can skip that one.

Multi balls? Sure. Maybe even an odd ammount to keep things hot. Also, let's not forget the opposite of multi - a singular ball. Look, we're going with listing all of my kinks here, so this was important to mention too.

Multiple tips, on the same shaft? Now we're getting somewhere interesting! Make that shaft a mushroom garden, with tips every so often growing from random places. In fact, fuck it. Make the whole persons body be covered in dick tips! Well, yes, I hear you, we could also have done the same with multi dicks, or even with multi balls, and I completely agree!

Multi urethra? Same case! We can make an actual holey sponge out of the dick, or just apply those holes all around the body! Option to make those urethras into vaginas is still there!

Spines
Fuck yeah, turn that cock into a cocktus! Spikes make for great sadistic penetrations, and make rape even more fun!

I don't really care about mentioning baculum here, but hey, if it exists, it's someone's fetish. Baculum is a bone inside the dick. But if your cock is hard as a rock regardless, not much point in having a baculum.
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