Polcompball: Nexus/Old Chapter 4A: Detour

Expedition

 * [[File:Accel.png]] Accelerationism
 * [[File:Illum.png]] Illuminatism
 * [[File:Kak.png]] Kakistocracy
 * [[File:Senate.png]] Senatorialism
 * [[File:Transh.png]] Transhumanism

Cave, Unknown Location
Are we there yet?

( are walking in a damp cave, carrying flashlights, tired and worn. is inspecting a small radar)

No, but we're getting closer.

You've been saying that for the past hour...

I can't keep carrying Kakistocracy. His drool is going to short-circuit my visor.

Seriously, Illuminatism, where are you leading us to? You haven't even told us yet and we're about to get there.

Be patient.

(After walking some more, motions the group to stop, right in front of a strange archway)

We're here. This is the crypt.

Crypt, Unknown Location
(The expedition keeps moving forward,

Aren't crypts usually under some sort of building? Why is there one here?

Shut up. Keep moving.

Please... I'm starting to deaccelerate...

Who is in these coffins? Their names are so weird...

"Neobolshevism"... "Death Worship"... Hm. Seems like that last one got what they wanted.

( jumps off of 's back)

This is boring! I want to go home!

Shut your mouth, you annoying child. We're at the spot.

( shines his flashlight at a specific part of the crypt's walls. There are words carved in an incomprehensible language)

Senatorialism? I need you for this.

Oh, right.

( reads out the writings on the wall)

Nhueeh pnoeul yakho ytt'lond nyehgtheub tut hirikhelyrol yeios. Ghoew pnoeul yakho ytt'lond doneul ae koueiginik hirikhelanirsse ahd mrechdebo yeios nhossyn. Nhuesume ae foockhet gurdo!

(The ground beneath the group shakes for a few seconds)

What the hell?!

Yes, yes, good.

Oh, wow... Take a look at this.

( points his flashlight in front of them, to reveal a massive, seemingly bottomless chasm)

Damn.

Now, Kakistocracy, I'm going to need you to step over here for a second.

( tries to walk towards, but stops him)

Illuminatism... I know what you're doing.

What am I doing?

This visor has heat vision. I know what's down there.

Huh? What's down there?

Look, Transhumanism, this is for the greater good...

There is no greater good that will come from this. The Technate sent me because they know you're not to be trusted.

Don't you see?! Our world is stuck in a cycle of conflict and violence. Awakening these beings will unite everyone under one cause!

No, you want them to destroy as much of the world as possible so you can take advantage of the inevitable power vacuum.

I knew I shouldn't have brought you to this expedition. It doesn't matter, we're already too far in for you to prevent this from happening.

( pulls out a futuristic handgun and points it directly at )

I'm gonna need you to step away from that chasm.

Accelerationism? Do it.

(Suddenly, pushes  into the chasm. While  is distracted,  pushes him to the ground and disarms him. Seeing this,  tries to help  up, but the ground begins to shake violently, and a massive shockwave sends  flying out of the crypt and out of the cave entirely, launching them extremely high up, while  are launched in the other direction, into the chasm)

...

( and are high in the air, rapidly descending into the ground below)

Crap.

( approaches and pulls him in, as  activates a parachute and begins to glide to the ground below.  is unconscious)

...

Cornfield, Agrarian Valley
( Agrarian Anarchism, Agrarian Socialism and  National Agrarianism are farming corn)

Hey! Stop hogging all the corn to yourself!

I'm not, you idiot! I'm just better at farming than you!

God, you two do this every time... Just farm, for God's sake.

Whatever.

(The three continue farming, until accidentally trips and falls over. While getting up, he looks up at the sky and notices something or someone coming down near them at a very fast speed)

What the hell is that?!

( alerts the other two)

That's a parachute! It's a person!

(Eventually, the parachute lands in the field. go to inspect it, and see...)

It's two people!

Hello.

Uh, hi?

My name is Transhumanism, and this is Senatorialism. We have landed in your field as an emergency. We need your help.

Should we bring them home?

If dad allows it.

( helps up)

Your father is Agrarianism, correct?

Yeah.

We don't get along particularly well...

Well, hopefully he sees that guy you're carrying and has some compassion.

Why are you even here? What did you jump out of to land here?

I'll tell you while we get there.

Farmhouse, Agrarian Valley
No. Absolutely no way.

( are standing at the door of the farmhouse, with still unconscious in 's arms)

Oh, come on, dad!

This is very important and potentially world-ending. I need to stay here so that I can re-establish communications with the Technate and stop this cataclysm from happening.

Go somewhere else. I'm not taking a filthy, rotten, artificial space-dweller into my home.

But, dad!

I won't let him in, and that's final.

( slowly begins to open his eyes in 's arms)

Oh, he's waking up!

( stares at, seemingly dazed for a while)

Uh... dad?

I changed my mind. I'll let you stay here for as long as you need to.

Yay!

Hm...

(They all enter the home, and puts  down on a couch)

So, like I said, we need to stay here until I've fixed my transmission to the Technate. This is going to take a few days. Do you have room for us to stay?

Well, you two rascals can stay here, in the living room. I have an extra mattress in the housebarn, I'll clean it up and bring it here for you.

This is gonna be so cool! We never have visitors over!

(As the day goes on, 's children pester about his advanced technology and  recovers from the shock...)

...

(In the middle of the night, someone rings the bell to the farmhouse. and  are the only ones awake.  comes down the stairs from his bedroom and to the door)

Who the hell could it be at this time of night?

Don't open the door yet. Look through the window.

( peers through the window curtains next to the door, and sees...)

What the-?!

HELLO. MAY I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

Uh... S-Sure?

...

Transhumanism, do you know who this is? I don't wanna open the door.

I have no idea. My database isn't functional.

Ugh...

( opens the door and sees, carrying a suitcase)

HELLO AGAIN. HOW ARE YOU DOING ON THIS FINE NIGHT?

I'm... doing well.

GOOD. DID YOU PER CHANCE SEE ANY GIANT PERSON WALKING AROUND, DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN THEIR PATH? THEY LOOK KIND OF LIKE ME, BUT RED.

Uh... No, I have not.

OH, EXCELLENT! THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW. GOODBYE.

( walks away from the door, occasionally jumping. closes the door)

What in the Sam Hill was that?!

I don't know. I don't think that person's in the database.

I'm going back to bed. I don't like dealing with weirdos. Good night.

Good night.

CHAPTER 4A END