Airisu and the Kakistocracy Virus

= NOTICE: BERNHE0504 is no longer working on this because it is retarded beyond all physical comprehension and I have no more good ideas for it. If you want to add more stuff/alternate endings, either put it in a tabber or just pick up where I left off. = In this story, SumisuAirisu screws up big time, leaving JoeyFloppa and Angrybirdstd to clean up her mess. By uniting what’s left of the polcompball universe and gaining the allegiance of the most powerful balls, they fix Airisu’s mess and then punish her big time. I won’t say anything else due to spoiler reasons.

Chapter 1
It was a lovely day on the anarchy. JoeyFloppa was perfectly editing articles, BERNHE0504 was creating retarded ideologies and farming awards I MEAN creating new categories and Airisu was censoring comments she didn’t like on Transphobia because, well, what the hell do you expect, she’s a commie “lib”. Even Kira Kween, the final boss of LibLeft, feared her. That day, however, she crossed The Line™. She edited one of JoeyFloppa’s comments. Using his “I created ~30% of all PCBA edits” power, he smited her and took away her power. While everyone except a certain frog with bad hair was celebrating, Airisu was PISSED, to put it mildly. Like all teenage girls, Airisu had a tendency to not let shit go. So, she went to the darkest depths of PCBA and, without thinking twice, unleased the Kakistocracy Virus.

Now, the Kakistocracy Virus is a very bad thing. It basically takes every ideology on the Anarchy and turns them Kakistocratic. Even JoeyFloppa is powerless against it, as there are only so many edits a single person could make in a finite period of time. Knowing this, Airisu watched with glee when she watched all of the Anarchy crumble under a mix of obnoxious temspeak, propeller caps and pure retardedness, though the latter is no stranger of hers. However, she failed to realize one thing; even her ideologies were not safe from the virus. Slowly, her ideology, Airisuism, which she worked so hard on, turned into something that literally took 5 minutes to make; Kakistocratic Airisuism. Therefore, in the classic LibLeft fashion, she backtracked. HARD.

But it was too late. She could only manage to save a small portion of her ideology before it was completely devoured by the Kakistocracy Virus. Knowing pretty much her entire plan because he is God, Joey materialized to Airisu’s location (but only after the event happened due to plot reasons) and prepared to ban her. Airisu was ready to accept her fate, but then, an unlikely ally stepped from the shadows. It was Angrybirdstd.

“Leave her alone, banning her is a mercy,” he said.

“But she deserves it. Nothing she can do in the mortal realm can atone for her sins,” Joey told him flatly.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Angrybirdstd said, “there is a way to reverse the Kakistocracy Virus. Remember, I’ve been on the anarchy for almost as long as you. I know of its inner machinations as you do.”

“Then tell me, how do we stop it? What do we have to sacrifice?”

“By going to The Source. We can do that by destroying one of his parents; if one ball dies, the Virus must die, too. The problem is, however, are that polcompballs are usually immortal. That’s the case with the Virus’s first parent, Kakistocracy. He is completely indestructible, but I assure you that he is too stupid to mean us any harm.”

“What of the other parent?”

“That’s an even bigger problem, Joey. The other parent of this accursed virus is Senatorialism. We know almost nothing of it, other than it is not of this world. Therefore, it must be mortal. Our very limited records also indicate that it responds well to sacrifice. That’s how I think Airisu can redeem herself.”

“Guyz, I am NOT down for this,” Airisu belched.

“You don’t have a choice,” Angrybirdstd and Joey said in unison.

So, she ran away. Joey tried to stop her, but he couldn’t because whenever he caught her, she scratched him with her nails. Eventually, he lost her. Then, he heard Angrybirdstd call for help. He was being physically assaulted by a frog with bad hair.

Recap
Airisu unleases the virus after getting pwned by Joey and then runs away.

Chapter 2
The frog with bad hair was no match for the combined powers of the two best users on the Anarchy and was knocked out in seconds. But Angrybirdstd was confused; why did the frog attack them in the first place and how was he so powerful? Joey wondered the same thing, and peered into his soul for further inspection. Hidden beneath his awful hairstyle was a Kakistocratic propeller cap. Then, Angrybirdstd connected the dots; this wasn’t any frog with bad hair, it was Kakistocratic Oofit. Joey and Angrybirdstd removed the propeller cap, bringing Oofit back to consciousness. Now no longer mind controlled and with a marginally better haircut due to the absence of the his propeller cap, he ran away to check on his ideologies.

Joey already knew that even users themselves could be infected by the virus, not just ideologies, but he didn’t expect it to take down someone as influential on the Anarchy as Oofit. However, Joey knew of a select group of polcompballs that aren’t interested in politics at all; the Centrists. They probably weren’t even affected by the virus due to the air around their quadrant being choked up with toxic, virus-killing propane fumes. So, Joey and Angrybirdstd went to the center of the compass. While travelling there, they witnessed firsthand what Airisu had done; fascists, communists, libs, theocrats and even off-compass balls were all corrupted by the virus. Finally, they reached the center, which was, for all intensive purposes, business as usual.

“How can I help you, son? Did you come to grill,” said Radical Centrism, the leader of the centrists.

“Nope, we came here because the entire PCBA universe is threatened by an infection of the Kakistocracy Virus,” Joey said.

“I see. Kakistocracy actually lives in this quadrant in the insane asylum, so maybe you can talk to him. I know nothing of the virus other than the fact that it first broke out a few years after I was created. Be careful, though; he drank an entire pallet of Hi-C fruit punch last night and is currently quarantined in a baby crib right now. If you listen close enough, you can hear him pitching a fit.”

“Thanks.”

With that, the two went down to the insane asylum and faced Kakistocracy.

“AAAA! GET ME OWT OF HEWE!!!” (I’m pretty sure that you can guess who’s speaking right now).

“We will, you have my word on that. We just have a few questions,” Angrybirdstd reassured Kakistocracy.

“OK, I wove qwestions! Down’t back owt of our agweement, lying is cwinge,” sputtered Kakistocracy.

“What do you know about the Kakistocracy virus?”

“Well, one day, I waz wawking down the stweet and then scawy guy came and hit me on da head! After dat, it just appeawed owt of nowhewe!”

“Who was the ‘scary guy’?”

“He had tentacwes and didn’t tawk much. He onwy said dat I waz da ‘pewfect downor’, watever dat means.”

“SHIT! Senatorialism created the virus on purpose using Kakistocracy’s DNA! What part of you did he take,” Joey said.

“He chopped a pwopewwer off of my hat! I didn’t wike dat! I had to go to Gewontocwacy for mowe monee to get a new wone! He cawwed be a foowish chiwd! Gwumpy boomer...”

With that, Joey set Kakistocracy free and took him off the centrist quadrant, allowing him to roam around and have some free time now that he couldn’t possibly make anything worse than it already was. Probably. The other Centrists said that they wouldn’t get involved, but they would use their new-fangled Super Propane to fumigate the vicinity with even more virus-killing fumes, allowing a safe space for extreme moderates.

“What do we do now,” asked Angrybirdstd.

“We need more men. No matter how powerful we are, the both of us aren’t capable of cleansing the entire compass. It will take the entire mod team to do that, including Inky, who hasn’t been seen for eons,” said Joey.

“Why not recruit the others? Inky might show themself. The problem is, who do we recruit first?”

“Nobody, as of now. We need to get the support of many, many polcompballs and users before even thinking about tackling a Kakistocratic moderator. It has been proven firsthand that people infected with the Kakistocracy virus trade their intelligence for brute strength. This makes Kakistocratic moderators both unpredictable and extremely deadly, even for me. Our first target, however, should be The Writer.”

“Who?”

“Yeah, nobody’s really heard of them before, but they do quite a bit around here.”

And with that, it was decided. The two would go out and forge alliances with other polcompballs and users to eventually take down The Writer.

Recap
Joey and Angrybirdstd find out what the virus is capable of when they find Oofit infected with it. They then travel to the Centrist quadrant where they learn the origins of the Kakistocracy virus and create a safe haven for moderates. Finally, they decide that they should take down The Writer as their first goal.

Chapter 1
First, the two decided to go to the LibRight stronghold of Ancapistan to gain the allegiance of whatever was left of the LibRight quadrant. When Angrybirdstd looked at it, he almost threw up. There were Kakisocratic ideologies EVERYWHERE.

“I suppose that this is what happens when LibRight tries to purge a mind-controlling neurax virus for violating the N.A.P,” Joey said.

As they went deeper into the quadrant, they noticed that there were burnt-out husks of cities dotting the landscape. Angrybirdstd recognized a few.

“That used to be Minarchyland, and the melted glob of metal over there are the remnants of Historic JoJoSoPa, I believe.”

Finally, after a few days of walking, they reached the last remaining major outpost in the entirety of LibRight; Ancapistan. Almost immediately, Green Minarchists, Supercapitalists, Voluntaryists and Hoppeans ran out to purge what they thought were Kakistocratic invaders. They immediately stood down when they recognized that they not only had no chance against the “attackers” and that they were two of the best friends of LibRight on the entire Anarchy. The guard ideologies then offered to take their new guests to the mayor of Ancapitstan, Ancap itself.

“I hope you have an explanation for this. I can’t buy any stonks, I have to let cringe moderates into my city and, worst of all, 99% of my quadrant is currently violating the N.A.P,” Ancap wailed.

“None of us have an explanation yet. We’re here to fix your quadrant, but we need your allegiance,” Angrybirdstd said.

“I’m more than happy to oblige, but I need a favor, first. There is a specific part of my quadrant that has been giving us trouble for the past few years, even before this stupid virus. You know who I speak of.”

“Purple LibRight.”

“Yes. They have been severely weakened by the recent banwave of pedo ideologies. I can only assume that this virus is making things FAR worse for them. We need to hit them while they’re recovering. Take no prisoners.”

And with that, the two headed out, only to be met by a stranger in their path. He was wandering around aimlessly, but he did not appear to be Kakistocratic, since there was no propeller cap to speak of. Unfortunately, the stranger already noticed Angrybirdstd. As he charged forward, Angrybirdstd readied his defenses.

Recap
To gain the allegiance of LibRight, JoeyFloppa and Angrybirdstd have to destroy the weakened Purple LibRight first, but something’s wrong when a peculiar stranger assaults them.

Chapter 2
The stranger was wearing a top hat and had a long hairstyle of some sort. It also had a lavender-ish complexion. Joey recognized this as The Writer’s personal self-insert; the Denatian Model. It tried to go after Angrybirdstd, but his defenses were impenetrable. After flattening it with a Smite V Deathwave (Angrybirdstd’s most powerful move), he gave it a chance to explain itself.

“It was you who released this virus. My creator is now fully Kakistocratic and more importantly, my top hat (or beret or whatever) is totally ruined,” said Denatian Model.

”No, it was Airisu,” Angrybirdstd said.

”OK.”

And with that cliche’d ending, the heroes went off to destroy Purple LibRight once and for all. A while later, they arrived that Purple LibRight. Almost immediately, the guys recognized exactly why Purple LibRight was impenetrable; it was all PORN. There was the R34 River, PornHub Plateau, Hentai Hills and the almighty Fields of Furfaggotry. As Joey and Angrybirdstd were planning how exactly to breach all of the degeneracy, the answer came when a certain cyborg Fascist wandered over with Der Flammenwerfer.

“Ah ja. Jetzt kann ich die gesamte Entartung beseitigen, da die Systembetreiber zu beschäftigt sind, Airisus Chaos zu beseitigen (Ah, yes. Now I can get rid of all the degeneracy as the system operators are too busy cleaning up Airisu's mess).”

Because they were both lolberts, the heroes decided not to talk to F.I.A.T since he was known to violate the N.A.P on a daily basis. They just let him do his thing. A few minutes later, all of the porn was destroyed except for the central area, where it was too dense for any flames to catch. After F.I.A.T left, Joey and Angrybirdstd tried to figure out how to breach the center, where the only Purple LibRight village in existence was. Unfortunately it was far too degenerate for even Joey to destroy, so they had to call on the Deleter Himself, JADE. Basically, Jade just copied all of the degenerate porn and put it on PCBD. Because Jade. Now, the village was vulnerable.

Soon, its sole inhabitant crept forth. It was Sabkvism. She was not happy about being placed in Purple LibRight to begin with, so she filled it with Joey x Heinrich porn so nobody could bother her. Unfortunately for her, Sabkv was eligible for a ban, so that’s what happened (R.I.P). After that, all of the degeneracy just melted away. Ancap was very happy and they gained the allegiance of LibRight.

Chapter 3
Next, after Joey and Angrybirdstd came back after the pornographic purple LibRight was defeated and Sabvk was banned, they prepared to go into AuthRight. As the two of them were walking toward the city, a space shuttle flew over them at a very fast speed. It and its organization had the capability of fighting the Kakistocracy Virus better than Joey and Angrybirdstd could.

"We have to find out where that shuttle came from." Angrybirdstd said.

"It's S.O.A.P." Joey said.

When the spacecraft left the area after fighting against the virus, an unlikely visitor with a tattered dictator hat came out of the rubble.

"I don't like my anime anymore. It's been ruined." The visitor said.

"Oh, it's you, Heinrich!" Joey and Angrybirdstd said in unison.

So the two of them broke into an old skyscraper. They went up to the very top. A UFO hovered over. It fought to free the other Nazcaps from the virus, but to only some avail. The two of them jumped onboard and said:

"Are you from SOAP?"

"Yes." said the operator.

"How could we use your powers?" Angrybirdstd said.

"You can't You must be appointed by our superiors if you want to join us." The operator said.