Cheiristocracy

Cheiristocracy (formerly Uber-Kakistocracy) should not exist. It is essentially Kakistocracy on an entire factory’s worth of steroids. Pretty much everyone under Cheiristocracy has an IQ of under 40.

Beliefs
Cheiristocracy takes the entire “rule of the stupid” idea to a whole other level, in which it almost becomes totalitarian. Smart people aren’t necessarily banned, per-se, but they are highly tabooed by Cheiristocrats. One famous incident included a Cheiristocrat throwing his soiled diaper at a random Gerontocrat for no reason other than reading a book. Cheiristocrats are generally too retarded to understand racism, homophobia or sexism, which is more of a mercy than anything else. There is no central economy, Cheiristocrats usually sustain themselves on a diet of feces, baby food, Monster™ energy drinks and random bits of plastic.

Language
The only language Cheiristocracy speaks is an even more annoying version of Kakistocratic Temspeak (Kakspeak) that not only replaces most “r”s with “w”, but also makes use of numerical characters, horrifying punctuation/capitalization, replacing c's with either k's or s's, and unnecessary shortening of words. For example, the following sentence is written in legible English:


 * Hi! My name is Jerry. I like to eat burritos and I am a LibCenter.

Here is the sentence written in normal Kakspeak:


 * HI!!!!! MY NAME IS JEWWY!!! I WIKE TO EAT BUWWITOS AND I IS KAKISTOCWACY!

And here is the same sentence written in the Cheiri dialect of Kakspeak:


 * hOI11!!!11!!!1 i IS JEWWE!!!!!1!11! I WiK TO eT BUwUITOS ANd I iS KEEWEESTOKWASY!!!

This is essentially how all of them speak. It has been scientifically proven (courtesy of Technocracy) that listening to this crap for more than 15 minutes leads to rapid death of the braincells, at a rate of around 1 billion cells per minute. At this rate, you will be killed within 2 hours of listening.

How 2 Draw:
Uber-Kakistocracy is truly hard to look at. Here are the steps for drawing it:


 * 1) Take the normal Kakistocracyball and color the green parts blue and the white parts orange. Leave the propeller cap alone.
 * 2) Make the propellers on the Kakistocracyball’s propeller cap HUGE. Like, so comically large that they are bigger in diameter than the ball itself.
 * 3) Re-position its eyes so that it looks “stupid” (i.e: one on the top left and one on the bottom right).
 * 4) Draw a diaper anywhere on the ball. Optionally, you could make it soiled/pissed in.

Relationships
Uber-Kakistocracy is too retarded to understand friendship.