Craupatkin vs. Plenderplar: Fight for the fate of the omniverse

Cast: The Omni-council Omni-Faith Omni-Back Omni-06 Omni-Free Omni-Force Omni-Sin Omni-Hive

Plenderplaristan Neo-Plenderplarism - The BB and leader of Plenderplaristan Plenderplarism - Servants of Plenderplar PlenderCapitalism - Minister of finances Plunderplarism - Admiral of the Plenderplaristans space force PlenderQuarkism - Head of the science department

The resistance Aeirinism Böhmism Rutabagism Heinrich-Cheungism Moonlitism Neo-YugoslavPartisanism Neo-Butterism Bsaheedism Demolism Immorxism Potato6132ism

Him Craupatkinism

at Plendeplaristans command-ship
Neo-Plenderplarism: Proles, BB Informs you that we have found the way to kill the non-existantful gods and become eternalful god of omniverse PlenderCapitalism: How will you do this oh plechrist? : We will use paradoxes to doubleplusdestroy their unexistence. Set course to the omniful council. Plunderplarism: Doubleplusyes master

At the council:
Omni-Faith: '''I call this meeting of the omni-council started. One of you proposed that all mollecules in the universe should be changed to a LSD-based sustanance. Who votes in favor?'''

Omni-Free and Omni-Sin: raise hands



Everyone else: Raises hand

: What about DMT? : The council has been clear. Omni-Hive: We see a ship approaching. Omni-Force: Who dares interrupt our council?

Plenderplars command ship lands and he comes out off it with knock-off, copyright-free version of Imperial march playing in the background

: We have come to unperson you. : '''How dare you? You have no chance pathetic insect! ''' : Observe. Hey, Omni-Force. : WHAT IS IT, SLIME? : Your doubleplusunreal non-ideology seeks tounperson god to become one, but you are a god and now are the god to be unpersoned. : Fuck. kills himself : Omni-back, you want to return backwise, yet every second, time pushes forwardwise, you have failed. Omni-Back: NOO! Disentagrates : Omni-06, you want to progress forwardwise infinitewise, considering I have already killed two gods, wouldnt we be the doublepluslogical progress? Omni-06: Flawless logic Destroys himself : Omni-Hive, you want to incorporate every living being into one. Why dont you just merge with us? Omni-Hive: We shall proceed  Is absorbed by Neoplenderplarism : Omni-sin, your doubleplusunreal non-ideology wants to kill everyone to make one person can do whatever he wants. Why dont you start with yourself. Omni-Sin: Whatever, a universe that isnt made out of drugs isnt one worth livng in anyways. Dies  : Stop this, you have no idea what are you doing, you will weaken the borders of the omniverse and unleash force no being can stop. : Omni-faith, you dont believe in yourself, you know you are, therefore are a heretic to your ownwise faith and must unperson yourself. : You will regret!  Smites himself : Omni-free, you exist only in minds of people, without omni-faith, you dont exist. : Fucking LARP...  Disappears : Prepare the Plender-fleet, Omniverse is mine to conquer.

Somewhere in the Void:
Craupatkinism: I hear screams of dying gods, who dares awake the ancient one from his slumber?

Chapter two: War of LARP
In the grim darkness of the far future, Plendetplars forces advance as resistance is trying to stop them without succes. Recently. the resistance has organized a mission to find an important prisoner and bring him to them for their plans to destroy Plenderplar.

Bsaheedism: We are reaching our base. We should call the HQ that the mission was a succes. : Dont speak too soon. Plenderplars forces have finnaly caught up to us! Plenderplarism: Doubleplusstop crimethinkers or we will open fire. Moonlitism: You will never get us alive, LARPers! : I doubleplusunLARP : Fuck, hes here! Aeirinism: I will slow him down! You run with the prisoner! : We cant leave you here! Suddenly, Aerin turns to Plenderplar and begins to speak: : Dwaddy Pwanderpwaw pwease dont kiww me, I have bween a bwad girl, you have to pwunish me, UWU. : Doubleplusuncold. Arrest her and put her to my personal torture chambers. :Vomits and dies : What happened to Quark? : He died of cringe! We have to go, their death cant be in vain! :Unperson them! :Yes Master. : Gets shot : Walks up to bleeding Moonlit on the ground This is what happens when you defy us! : Fucking je....Dies : Wait where is the last one?

At the base:
Neo-Butterism: Holy shit! You made it! : Yes, but everyone else is dead or captured. Rutabagism:Fallen shall be forever remebered as resistances finest. Böhmism: Do you have the prisoner? :Yes : Alright, everyone go to the main meeting room. The ritual is ready!

Heinrich-Cheungism: We must talk first. I dont think the ritual is safe. Neo-YugoslavPartisanism: I agree but there is no other choice. We have to do it for the greater good. : What about the moral implications? Can we really execute a child to save more people? : You havent seen the prisoner, havent you? : We should take a vote if we will make the ritual or not. : Fine. All in favor?







: Based. Bring forth the prisoner! Demolism: hI guyS!!!LLL111!! : Nevermind, this one deserves it. : May the ritual commence!

Everyone chanting: ''He who sleeps in ground below Awake your flesh, bone and soul These who rape cities and burn babies shall pay! We praise thee! The Craupatkins name!''

: Bleeds out

Suddenly a hole in reality opens and a large, muscular, male figure steps out from it.

Who dares summon me to the mortal realm?

To be continued...

Coming soon (Or later):

Chapter three: A new challanger approaches

Chapter four: Massacre at Plenderpolis

Chapter five: The final battle

Chapter six: Long live the king